Fire Kentucky Motor Speedway

Fans who didn't race to the track didn't get to see the show.

The chaos at Kentucky Motor Speedway for fans trying to attend the Quaker State 400 last weekend was about as bad as it could be without anybody dying. Reports are that some fans waited in traffic for more than six hours to see the track's inaugural race while others were sent packing upon arrival because no parking was available. This epic logistical mismanagement should most definitely be fired.

The biggest problem on race day was that there were only parking spaces for 33,000 vehicles even though 107,000 fans bought tickets for the event. “The on-site parking was filled, the off-site parking was filled – so the people coming off the interstate had nowhere to go,” said Nancy Wood, spokeswoman for the Kentucky Transportation Cabinet District 6 in Fort Mitchell. The result was that a line of cars 20 miles long formed during the worst of the jam.

Unfortunately the problems with the race weren't limited to traffic. The track has to be changed due to a safety issue of not having enough SAFER barriers. The inside walls in Turns 1 and 2 are a major concern and the track also is extremely rough and bumpy, according to an ESPN report. 

Before the race, the speedway said in a press release that: “Kentucky Speedway, Kentucky State Police, the Kentucky Transportation Cabinet and the Kentucky Tourism, Arts and Heritage Cabinet have collaborated on a comprehensive traffic and parking plan to accommodate more than 100,000 race fans." After the race, speedway general manager Mark Simendinger said: “We’re committed to working with NASCAR, state and local officials and traffic experts to address Saturday’s traffic issues to ensure that we never have this type of experience again.” Woops.

In the meantime, Kentucky Motor Speedway is giving fans who were unable to attend the race over the weekend admission to another race at the track this season. Apologies and free tickets aren't enough for some people, though, and now Kentucky lawmakers are looking to get involved. Kentucky Senate president David Williams said Kentucky Senate transportation chairman Ernie Harris has agreed to hold a hearing on the issue. As we know, fact-finding missions by lawmakers are always extremely productive and this hearing is likely to resolve the problem (that was absolutely sarcasm).

Despite all the mistakes, Kentucky Motor Speedway will host six more races this season, but it shouldn't be hosting anything for quite a while. Most people are forgiving of minor mistakes or growing pains, but 20 miles of traffic doesn't fit into that category. Forget the excuses, the hearings and the apologies - just shut down the track until the surface is fixed and the parking lot is expanded.

Hire Jeter Fan's Generosity

Lopez and his prize. (Reuters)

A fan who caught Derek Jeter's 3000th hit ball (a home run) chose to return the ball to the Yankee SS and asked for nothing in return. This selflessness should most definitely be hired.

Christian Lopez, 23, a cellphone salesman and Yankees fan from Highland Mills, NY, said: "Mr. Jeter deserved it. I'm not gonna take it away from him. Money's cool and all, but I'm 23 years old, I've got a lot of time to make that. It was never about the money, it was about the milestone."

Were Lopez a Red Sox fan he might have felt differently since he potentially walked away from a big payday. Milestone home run balls fetch the most, topping out with Mark McGwire's 1998 70th home run ball going for $3 million (we suspect the price has dropped a bit since). Other similar balls, like Hank Aaron's 755th, which sold for $650,000, have gone in the six-figure range. Three thousand-hit balls are a lot tougher to price, however, as few if any are on the secondary market. The only other player to get his 3000th with a home run was Wade Boggs, and he got that ball back, too. Even without a definite market value it's safe to say Lopez had a pretty high-priced item.

Lopez didn't exactly get screwed, though, since the Yankees rewarded his generosity with tickets to every home game for the rest of 2011, memorabilia and a clubhouse meeting with Mr. Jeter. One website estimated the value of Lopez's haul at $12,300.

It's refreshing to see someone behave like Lopez, especially when compared to the ugly saga involving Barry Bonds' 73rd home run ball in 2001. When the ball landed, there was a scuffle and two fans claimed ownership of it. The dispute eventually went to court and a judge ruled that the ball would be sold and the profit split among the two men. Sure, they got to share $450,000 two years later but neither deserved any money since they acted like jerks. With all the greed that's out there, hats off to Lopez for behaving like a mensch.

Friday Firings: Qatar World Cup, Rangers Stadium Safety, Confrontational Umpires

Every Friday the HR Department fires two or more things from around sports that range from silly to outrageous. Here's what we came up with this week:

Fire the Qatar World Cup Because it's Too Damn Hot There -In a rare story that only partially comes back to FIFA's corruption, soccer's governing body announced that games played in the 2022 World Cup could consist of 30-minute "thirds" instead of the usual 45-minute halves. The reason for changing the format, which has been in place since the 19th century, is because of the extreme heat in Qatar. Qatari organizers deny the possibility of the change, but it's safe to say they won't get their way unless they, you know, pay for it. Again. FIFA never should have selected Qatar for a World Cup, and this potential rule change is just the beginning of the mess there.

Fire Ineffective Safety Precautions at Rangers Games - A fan tragically died last night after he fell 20 feet at a Rangers game. He had been tossed a ball by OF Josh Hamilton, and after catching it fell over a railing onto the concrete below. His young son was with him and witnessed the incident. Three fans have now fallen over the railings at a Rangers game since 1994, though the other two did not die. After the first incident, the Rangers increased the height of the railing from 30.5 inches to 46 inches but clearly that hasn't done the job. No team can ever prevent all incidents, and even though a fan death is extremely rare, why haven't stadiums installed nets or even higher railing in more places? Whether or not the Rangers did all they could to protect fans is for someone else to decide, but clearly more precautions need to be taken.

Leyland says umpires need to simmer down.

Fire Confrontational Umpires - Tigers manager Jim Leyland said friction between teams and umpires is on the rise, and it's becoming a problem for baseball. Leyland said Joe Torre, baseball's executive VP of operations, is working on the issue. This tension has likely been exacerbated by the 73 types of instant replay now available as well as intense media and fan scrutiny of everything umpires do. At the same time, there are also umpires who seem to seek needless confrontation, like Angel Hernandez. Umpires should be stoic and Torre should watch game film to determine which umpires, if any, are exceptionally confrontational. Those that are should be disciplined and then fired if they don't improve.

UPDATE: SI's Tom Verducci reports that the umpire crew that includes Joe West and Angel Hernandez is responsible for much of the tension between teams and umpires and leads the league in ejections. 

Hire Heath Shuler as Tennessee AD

Shuler, failing in his first DC stint.

Rep. Heath Shuler (D-NC) is rumored to be interested in becoming the next athletic director at his alma matter, the University of Tennessee. Since the former Redskins draft bust hasn't done much better in his second stint in DC than he did in his first, he should take the job if it's offered.

Reports of Shuler's interest are still just that at this point, but his spokesman didn't deny that the congressman wants the job, saying only that Shuler is focused on getting reelected in November 2012. That might be tough. Shuler is in his third term and considered retiring last year, but he won reelection in a largely conservative district. Then, just like when he was a NFL QB, he couldn't win two in a row. He unsuccessfully challenged House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) for her leadership position, and when you challenge her she tends to freeze you out later. Shuler's blunder with Pelosi was especially costly since it coincided with the erosion of the Blue Dog Caucus, a group of moderate Democrats (of which Shuler is a member) that saw its ranks dwindle by 50% in 2010. As a result, Shuler has little hope of getting anything done even if the Democrats take the House back.

Looking to 2012, Shuler faces a Democratic primary challenge from a local city councilman who is considered a serious candidate. Shuler may also be hurt by redistricting, since Republicans control his home state and could redraw the voting map to further erode Shuler's base.

It also happens that Congress would be better off without Shuler, who reportedly had periphery involvement in a major scandal and is not terribly active legislatively. Shuler introduced nine bills so far in 2011, which ranks him 272 out of 440 House members in terms of quantity, and none of those have become law. He's also not very useful to his party, voting with Democrats just 67% of the time.

As for the scandal, Shuler reportedly rented a room in the "C Street House," a large residence reportedly owned by a shadowy Christian group called "The Foundation" or "The Family," which hosts the National Prayer Breakfast annually and engages in regular lobbying activity. Several other members of Congress lived there, including ex-Sen. John Ensign, who had an affair with a staffer's wife in the house. All members living in the residence supposedly received a discounted rental rate (violation of Congressional ethics rules), and no member of Congress should be living with lobbyists (just plain inappropriate).

Shuler hasn't done a lot better in DC as a lawmaker than he did as a QB (he was 4-9 in three seasons), so given his potentially difficult reelection situation he should most definitely say "yes" if Tennessee comes calling on him.

Fire Jose Canseco as Minor League Player/Manager

Jose is over-matched in Yuma.

The HR Department fired Jose Canseco in April when it was announced that he would be player/manager of the Yuma Scorpions, an independent minor league baseball team in Arizona. Since the season was more than one month away at that point, it could be said that the HR Department rushed to judgment so we decided to check up on Canseco and see how things are going. Turns out our prejudice was justified and Canseco should still be fired.

As the North American Baseball League nears its halfway point the Scorpions are 11-25, which puts them dead last in an 11-team league. The 46-year-old Canseco is clearly over-matched as a manager. He's also been flailing at the plate and, oddly enough, on the mound. Canseco's team is batting .298 as of July 6, but Canseco is hitting just .250 (third worst on the team among players with 40+ at-bats) with two home runs. Of his 19 hits, only four are for extra bases. About the only positive thing he has going is a 1:1 strikeout to walk ratio. Yet, Canseco remains delusional about his abilities. He recently told ESPN that he might be able to play productively in the majors as a DH right now. Sure, the Nationals are willing to let 43-year-old Matt Stairs pinch hit despite his .148 average, but Stairs didn't take a 10-year hiatus from MLB (Canseco last played in 2001) and he didn't get himself blacklisted by accusing half the league of taking steroids. 

For unknown reasons, Canseco has allowed himself to pitch 7.2 innings. He's 0-1 with a 12.91 ERA (worst among pitchers currently on his roster) and a WHIP of 2.74, though he has somehow managed to get four Ks. Jose also brought in his brother Ozzie to serve as bench coach/player, and Ozzie hasn't done much better than his big bro. He's batting .258 with no homers, one walk and 10 strikeouts in 12 games.

There's no way Jose should be player/manager of anything at this point, and unless the Scorpions management is enjoying the publicity he brings (like this blog post!), Canseco should be let go.

Fire Big Bonuses For Some Teenage Baseball Players

It'll be tough for Mazara to justify his bonus.

While many of us were out enjoying a long weekend, the Texas Rangers were out blowing record-setting money on a 16-year-old Dominican ballplayer. "Unproven" would be a generous description for OF Nomar Mazara, and his $5 million signing bonus, which is the highest ever for a foreign prospect, should definitely be fired.

Mazara is a 6-5, 185 lb lefty who reportedly has Mickey Mantle power. Unfortunately he also has Mickey Mantle's strikeout propensity. Baseball America said: "He may have the most raw power in Latin America, with batting practice shots that leave scouts in awe, [but] the only thing that can match Mazara's epic power [is] his equally epic ability to rack up strikeouts." Mazara hasn't played in any of the top Dominican leagues nor have scouts seen much from him in workouts beyond batting practice.

Of course all young players are risks, but the last Latin player to sign a big bonus hasn't done too well so far. In 2008 Oakland signed pitcher Michael Yona to a deal that included a then-record $4.25 million bonus. He's 6-7 and only 19 years old, but he was 0-1 with a 5.00 ERA in three rookie ball starts in 2009 before he went down with an injury that required Tommy John surgery. He hasn't pitched since but is expected back this summer.

Mazara sounds a lot like another recent hot prospect who got a lot less money and has produced inconsistent results. In 2007, 6-5, 240 lb lefty OF Jason Heyward was projected as the next Hank Aaron and he signed a reported $1.7 million bonus. In 1.5 seasons with Atlanta, the 21-year-old Heyward is batting .263 with 26 total home runs. At one point this season he went two months without a homer. He's battled some injuries and he made the 2010 All-Star team, but the comparisons with Aaron have stopped for the time being.

More "can't miss" prospects miss in baseball than any other sport, and even though Latin America produces tons of extremely talented players, it's pretty hard to call a 16-year-old who has shown little beyond impressive BP home runs a sure thing. Foreign players are notoriously difficult to evaluate (how's Dice-K working out, Boston?), and based on history the Rangers will regret paying Mazara so much. Texas is right that successful teams should have a strong presence in Latin America but nobody should be giving a 16-year-old that kind of money. This could start all sorts of absurd bidding wars in the future, so this ridiculous overpayment should be fired now.

Friday Firings: Roger Clemens, Bobe Hope Classic, Oden Contract Offer

Every Friday the HR Department fires two or more things from around sports that range from silly to outrageous. Here's what we came up with this week:

Clemens should reconsider his strategy.

Fire Roger Clemens' Strategy to Discredit Brian McNamee - Clemens' legal team is trying to convince the judge in Clemens' upcoming criminal trial to allow evidence that McNamee lied to police about allegedly raping a woman while he was employed by the Yankees in 2001. The strategy is obvious - portray McNamee as a liar to convince people he also lied about Clemens' alleged steroid use and to show his motive for cooperating with the feds. What the Rocket doesn't seem to realize, however, is that the worse McNamee looks, the worse he looks, too. If Clemens was regularly training with a guy who definitely dealt drugs and allegedly raped a woman, what does that say about Clemens' judgment? Even if Clemens didn't juice (ha), he's at least guilty of picking a lousy associate. The worse McNamee looks, the more doubt it casts on Clemens.

Fire the Bob Hope Classic's New Name - The Bob Hope Classic golf tournament has been around since 1960, but the tournament's leadership decided to rename it the Humana Challenge in 2012 because of the "reality of today's economy." Sure, Bob Hope isn't so relevant culturally anymore, but he also hasn't been dead that long (since 2003). Now another classic sports property falls victim to the corporate name virus, joining the FedEx Orange Bowl, the Chicago Bears presented by Bank One and the Go Daddy Super Bowl (made the last one up). This is a trend that nobody likes except for the people cashing the checks. It's not going away, but it should.

Fire the Blazers Offering Greg Oden $8.8 Million - The Trail Blazers offered oft-injured former #1 pick Greg Oden an $8.8 million qualifying offer for one season. This allows the Blazers to match any other team's offer or if another isn't made, for Oden to become a restricted free agent in 2012-2013. It's nice that Portland wants to stick by Oden, but if teams are complaining about how much money they lose, maybe it doesn't make a lot of sense to offer that much for a guy who is talented but only played 82 games in parts of two seasons and has had a broken knee cap and two microfracture surgeries. The demand for Oden can't be all that high (especially with the impending lengthy work stoppage), so Portland could easily have saved some money here. Bad move.