Fire Players Who Don't Care About HOF Induction

HOF'er? Probably not. Liar? Oh yeah.

Roger Clemens said recently that he doesn't really care about getting into the Baseball Hall of Fame, and he should be fired for lying. Again.

During an interview with ESPN's Mike and Mike, Clemens said he loves the HOF, but: "It's not the first thing that's on my plate right now. It's not something I'm looking at where it's going to be a big deal." Clemens didn't disrespect the HOF, and with his upcoming federal perjury trial for allegedly lying about steroid use, he's got some other concerns right now.

It seems disingenuous, though, that Clemens doesn't care about getting into the HOF. Athletes at the highest levels of their respective sports are almost always extremely competitive people (it's been said that Michael Jordan would cheat his own grandmother in a game of Go Fish). If you want to be the best, even if the HOF isn't expressly your goal, doesn't making the Hall fit in somewhere since it is THE measure of who the best players are? Ted Williams said he set out to be the greatest hitter who ever lived. Maybe he succeeded, but if he weren't in the HOF would he even be in the discussion?

Clemens is shrugging off the HOF because he knows he'll have a tough time getting in. It's a defense mechanism, and he's not alone in using it. Garry Sheffield, who said he received steroids unknowingly from Barry Bonds, in 2008 said: "There’s guys in the Hall of Fame that ain’t the best. I don’t even concern myself with it. It’s nothing I shoot for, it’s nothing I care about.”

Since Clemens seems pretty dishonest, it's no surprise he can't give an honest answer about his HOF aspirations. He should care about getting in, because he can't say he was among the best if he doesn't. Until he starts telling the truth, the HR Department is more than happy to fire him.

Fire The Fiesta Bowl's Tax Exemption

Don't let this man near your charity. (Credit: Arizona Republic)

The Fiesta Bowl's tax exemption should be revoked thanks to rampant law breaking by recently ousted Fiesta Bowl CEO John Junker.

Junker, who must have been the star student at the Rod Blagojevich School of Corruption, was fired after an internal report said he used Bowl funds to reimburse employees for political contributions, then attempted to cover it up. This is not only a violation of Arizona campaign finance law, but a violation of the tax code.

The Fiesta Bowl is a 501(c)(3) organization, putting it in the same category for tax purposes as the American Red Cross (yes, really). Whether or not the Fiesta Bowl's valuable contributions to society, which include hosting a football game and nothing else, make it a true charity is a question for another day. What is not up for debate, however, is that a 501(c)(3) organization that makes campaign contributions has violated the tax code and put its tax exemption at risk.

Beyond the campaign contributions, the report says Junker visited strip clubs, restaurants and bars all on the Fiesta Bowl's tab. These are improper benefits and constitute another tax violation. As if these violations weren't enough, the Fiesta Bowl's initial investigation of Junker cleared him of wrongdoing, according to the report.

Junker's timing in all this is pretty awful for the Fiesta Bowl, because the organization is already on the IRS's radar. In September 2010 Playoff PAC, a nonprofit organization that seeks to end the Bowl Championship Series, reported a number of alleged tax code violations by 3 of the 4 bowls to the IRS.

The Fiesta Bowl board should be applauded for firing Junker, not that doing so took great courage. No major sporting event that is tax exempt has ever lost its exemption, but these are strange times, and the IRS may be looking to set a precedent and haul in some more money.

People want deficit reduction? Collecting taxes on the massive revenues of an organization that is corrupt and provides no societal benefits would probably be a good place to start.

Fire Shaq Coming Back Next Season

Will Shaq be back? He will if someone offers him a deal.

In a recent interview with ESPN's Marc Stein, Shaquille O'Neal said this season is "probably not" his last even though it probably should be.

With Shaq having played in only 36 games this season and out indefinitely with a strained Achilles/hip, it seems pretty clear that he should limp away from basketball. Most athletes really don't care about "tarnishing" their legacy, so that's not likely to convince Shaq to hang 'em up. Other teams, however, should have no interest in Shaq since he hasn't played more than 53 games since the 2008-2009 season and this year marks the second time in two years his body has broken down in the run-up to the playoffs.

Even if Shaq were to suddenly regain his health (which, at age 39, isn't likely since he's played in over 1,200 games), he is simply not anything resembling the dominant force he once was.  He hasn't averaged more than 30 minutes per game since the 2005-2006 season, hasn't averaged double-digit rebounds per game since the 2004-2005 season and he hasn't approached his career average of 23.7 points per game since he had 20.0 in 2005-2006.

Sure he's inexpensive and probably still draws some fans on his name alone, but if he were so useful to the Celtics they wouldn't have traded for Nenad Krstic in February. For what Shaq has given the Celtics this season (20 minutes, 5 rebounds and 9 points per game), the Celtics could have replaced him with career bust Darko Milicic, who's averaging almost 25 minutes per game along with 9 points and 5 rebounds and is only 25 years old. 

Shaq got divorced in 2010, so he could probably use some money and won't walk away unless he's forced into retirement. NBA teams should have the sense not to sign him next season.

Fire Gripes About Payroll Inequity in Baseball




Don't get on Buck's bad side when a mic is nearby.

Orioles Manager Buck Showalter's recent comments suggesting that baseball teams can't succeed without a big payroll need to be fired.

Last week Showalter said: "I'd like to see how smart Theo Epstein is with the Tampa Bay payroll. You got Carl Crawford 'cause you paid more than anyone else, and that's what makes you smarter?"

What if Epstein had Tampa's payroll? For 2011, the team formerly known as the Devil Rays will spend $72.3 million. While it's impossible to say exactly what moves Epstein would make, his team would definitely have a shot at making the playoffs based on spending alone. In 2010, one team made the playoffs while spending less than Tampa will in 2011 (Rangers), one team made the playoffs with roughly the same payroll (Reds) and a third team (Padres) narrowly missed the playoffs while spending significantly less. Oh, and then there's Tampa: it won the AL East in 2010 over Boston and the Yankees.

Obviously a fat wallet helps a team win, but Theo's own Sawx didn't make the playoffs last year with their $162.7 million payroll, so if Buck wanted to knock Theo for not being so smart, maybe he should have said Theo doesn't maximize his resources very well.

It seemed like "Moneyball" would finally convince people that money isn't everything in baseball, but that was 2002 and people still haven't learned. When will baseball realize that it's not entirely about how much money you have, but how you use it?

Fire the NFL's HGH Testing Mandate

According to reports from ESPN and Fox Sports, the NFL is seeking mandatory testing for human growth hormone (HGH) in the next collective bargaining agreement.

Although well intentioned, this plan should be fired. No reliable urine test for HGH exists, so testing on players would have to be done by taking blood samples at several intervals. Players don't object to peeing in a cup, but giving blood is another story. (Seems ridiculous that they'd be bothered by needles since HGH is injected, but whatever.) Attempts by other leagues, like Major League Baseball, to test for HGH have failed in part because players object to blood tests and because no athlete has ever tested positive for the drug, putting the reliability of all tests in question.

HGH is likely a serious problem of unknown magnitude in the NFL, but right now the priority should be to address the most significant conflicts between the players and the league. League insistence on HGH testing will only delay the negotiation process and further dim the chances for an uninterrupted 2011 season.

Fire Iowa Football Coach Kirk Ferentz

It's 10pm and your kid plays for Kirk Ferentz. Nervous?

Iowa football coach Kirk Ferentz should be fired after an investigation released March 23 by the university revealed that an excessive squat workout led to the hospitalization of 13 of his players.

Following a January workout in which Iowa's strength staff reportedly told players to do 100 squats so the team could determine "who wants to be [here]," 13 players developed rhabdomyolysis, which is stress-induced and can cause kidney damage.

Did Ferentz immediately stop what he was doing several days later to check on his injured players once he found out they were in the hospital? Why, no, he continued a recruiting trip as scheduled. Parents of the players were less than thrilled. According to the university's report, "some parents expressed anger and distrust as a result of this event and suggested that some of the coaches should have been suspended until the investigation was complete."

Ferentz's response to the report, according to the Associated Press: "I was glad the committee was clear in saying that the players were not at fault and the staff was not at fault."

Iowa could not have reasonably fired Ferentz yet since the report was just released, but based on Ferentz's assessment it seems the school will be lenient. Apparently when you're 101-81 in your career with three straight bowl victories, you get a pass. Of course Ferentz didn't intend for anyone to get hurt, but as the head coach he is ultimately responsible for the safety of his players and he ignored his obligation.

In light of this the NCAA should take action against Ferentz, but the committee acts like it cares a whole lot more about coaches who text recruits than coaches who act like player safety isn't a priority. Here's a pink slip on the house, NCAA.

Fire (some of) the Latest NFL Rule Changes

Like watching Devin Hester return kicks? You'll be seeing him do it a lot less.

NFL owners voted March 22 to move the kickoff spot up five yards and to mandate a booth review for all scores, but punted a proposal that would have toughened penalties for hits on defenseless players.

First, let's hire the mandatory booth reviews. Nobody wants less accuracy or more challenges from the likes of Bears Coach Lovie Smith (2-10 in 2009, lifetime success rate of 31%). Also, NFL games are already pretty slow, so what's one more commercial break? (It's more money for the NFL, that's what.)

Fire the new kickoff spot. Kicks will now come from the 35-yard-line with the hope that there will be more touchbacks. It's definitely a good thing that this rule is intended to make the game safer, but since it essentially negates kickoff returns, why kick at all? Just put the ball on the 20 every time if safety is really the goal.

As for the delay in toughening penalties on defenseless players, well, fire that. Somewhere the Steelers' Jerome Harrison is nodding in approval, but this is yet another failure to deal with the top safety issue in the NFL. Some will say this is just more hypocrisy from the league in light of the new kickoff spot, but it also reflects something the owners (and everyone else) can't seem to reconcile: Can the game be made safer without fundamentally altering what makes it entertaining? There is no easy answer, and the owners won't have one anytime soon. Fortunately they will have some time to come up with something since there won't be a season in 2011.

Fire The Barry Bonds Trial




Even in drag, Bonds can't disguise that he's a jerk.

It's only day one of the Barry Bonds perjury trial, but this thing needs to be fired. Immediately.

If being an all-around jerk were punishable with jail time, Bonds would surely get a lengthy sentence (he once allegedly refused to sign a ball for a children's hospital benefit auction). And if being guilty of the crime you allegedly committed guaranteed a conviction, then Barry would do some time for lying to a grand jury about his alleged steroid use. 

But this isn't a made-for-TV movie, and it's already pretty obvious that things aren't going so well for the prosecution. U.S. District Judge Susan Illston made several key rulings before the trial that will prevent the admission of important evidence against Bonds. ESPN legal analyst Lester Munson already has the defense ahead, declaring "Bonds' lawyers clearly had the initiative and scored heavily" during jury selection, while the prosecution was "defensive and demonstrated... concerns about prosecuting a hometown hero on a steroids issue on which many fans have made their own conclusions." 

Then there's the prosecution's would-be star witness, Bonds' former trainer, Greg Anderson. Anderson already spent more than one year in jail for refusing to testify against Bonds, and Illston said she will send him back to jail if he won't cooperate again. Does he enjoy working out in jail? Is he the most loyal person ever? We'll never know. But we do know he won't testify against Bonds.  

Yes, it's only day one. But this trial is shaping up to be a waste of valuable resources and it needs to take up its rightful place in the unemployment line.

Mets on a Firing Spree

The New York Mets have decided to break up with Luis Castillo and Oliver Perez. Although the moves will cost the team a little more than $18 million combined in 2011, these two deserve to be fired. The 34-year-old Castillo batted .235 last year and made 11 errors in 2009. Perez is only 28, but since winning 15 games in 2007 he is 13-16 with an ERA in the 6.80s in each of the last two seasons.

While the Mets won't miss these two on the field, they will miss them even less off it. In 2010 Perez and Castillo were two of just three Mets players who bailed on a team visit to Walter Reed Medical Center. Perez declined to say why he couldn't visit wounded soldiers, while Castillo was at least honest enough to say that blood makes him squeamish (good thing he plays baseball). Since their play made Mets fans queezy, it's obvious the team is better off without these two.

Hirings and Firings: March Madness Edition

These coaches, all of whom played a role in wrecking brackets, deserve to be fired or hired based on their teams' performances in the first week of the NCAA Tournament.

Hire Shaka Smart - The Virginia Commonwealth coach's name is fitting (he got offers to play college ball at Harvard, Yale and Brown), and the Rams' "organized chaos" style gave USC, Georgetown and Purdue fits. In Smart's second season as a college head coach he has his team maximizing a relentless press, perimeter shooting (12 3's against Georgetown) and ball control (4 turnovers against Purdue) to advance to the Sweet 16 for the first time in school history. Look for Smart to be a candidate for several vacancies including Georgia Tech and NC State.

Fire Rick Pitino - Louisville didn't last much longer in the tournament than Pitino's encounter with Karen Cunigan Sypher. He won't likely be fired, but when a power conference team loses to Morehead State, things aren't working out. Sure it was a one-point game and Morehead played well, but the Eagles out-rebounded the Cardinals 33-27, including 11-5 on the offensive glass.

Fire Bruce Pearl - After Bruce was a very bad boy in the eyes of the NCAA, he had little hope of keeping his job beyond this season. After Tennessee quit in its first-round game, a 75-45 loss to Michigan in which the Volunteers were outscored 42-16 in the second half and shot .349 from the field, he'll be hearing "you're fired" very soon. (UPDATE: Pearl was fired.)

Sports HR: The Donald Trump of Sports, With Better Hair

The mission of Sports HR is to have a running dialogue on players, coaches, owners, teams and even fans who need to be told: "You're fired."

But we're not all negative - there are plenty of employees in the sports world who should be hired or promoted. This is basically a blog about trends, venting frustration, heaping on praise and providing some entertainment.