Friday Firings: Cubs and Orioles GM Scenarios, Terry Bradshaw

Every Friday the HR Department fires two or more things from around sports that range from silly to outrageous. Here's what we came up with this week:

There is little joy in Cubville, even with Hendry's exit.

Fire the Cubs Waiting to Fire Jim Hendry: The Cubs finally broke up with Hendry after a 17-year relationship (nine as GM) and the only question is: What took so long? Sure, Hendry did well on paper with division titles in 2003, 2007 and 2008. But other than in 2003, the Cubs were swept out of the playoffs in the first round. Beyond that, Hendry is responsible for a string of disastrous signings including: Carlos Zambrano (re-signed for five years at $91.5 million, hasn't won more than 14 games in a season since and is a huge distraction), Carlos Pena (signed for one year at $10 million, batting .225), Alfonso Soriano (has three years left on an eight-year deal, hasn't hit more than 29 homers or batted above .280 since 2007). As a team, the Cubs haven't been better than .516 for a season since 2008.

Hendry is also responsible for the decision to hire one-time interim manager Mike Quade on a permanent basis over legendary Cub Ryne Sandberg, even though nobody knows who the hell Quade is, he had almost no experience and Sandberg spent four years managing in the Cubs minor league system. Sure, Quade was 24-13 after he replaced the fed-up Lou Piniella in 2010, but Sandberg deserved better and it would have made the fans happy to have him in charge. Sandberg got so disgusted with the franchise that he left for a job with the Phillies and probably won't be back.  

In a related story, actor Ed Norton recently celebrated a birthday and when asked what he wants, said on Twitter that Orioles great Cal Ripken should be the team's manager and GM (Norton is from Maryland). While the team could use a new GM, Buck Showalter is a good manager - he just doesn't have a lot to work with. Ripken has no experience in talent evaluation and even if he did, Norton's idea ignores that the real problem in Baltimore is owner Peter Angelos. Angelos is responsible for such brilliant signings as the over-the-hill haul in 2005, which included Sammy Sosa, Javy Lopez and Miguel Tejada (all age 30+). Sosa batted .221 with 14 homers then retired, and while Lopez was productive for two years and Tejada for four, the team didn't get above .500 in that period. In fact, the team hasn't been above .500 since 1997. Anytime a team is that bad for that long, the finger should point squarely at ownership. Norton's idea is a nice one and would be good for PR, but it's going to take a lot more than Cal to fix things in Baltimore.

Fire Terry Bradshaw's Knowledge of US States: In an exchange with Joe Buck during the Steelers/Eagles preseason game last night, it was apparent that Terry Bradshaw didn't realize Hawaii is a state. Nobody expects much from him upstairs, but even little kids know this stuff. The video here is spotty, so there's also a transcript.